Ladyfingers: Oh My, Corona

By : Sabrina Ambra
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By a show of recently washed hands, who is fucking exhausted of hearing/reading/saying the word “coronavirus?”

I think the only person who is slightly thankful for this shit show of a pandemic is Ozzy Osbourne, who has relinquished his title of “guy who bit off a bat’s head” and given it to its new, rightful owner: Patient Zero. Speaking of silver linings, with this influx of facemask purchases I’d like to imagine that there is a big percentage of folks finally getting a whiff of their stank-ass breath they had previously been sending directly into our nostrils. Mortgage rates are at lifetime lows, the stock market is plummeting, toilet paper is nowhere to be found. Take it all in, my friends, and then chase that with a dollop of hand sanitizer in your mouth or whatever.

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