Can we have a really serious conversation? Like, for real for real?
I am scared.
I am nervous.
I actually have no words.
Something is about to happen in my life in a few weeks that has never happened before. To be honest, I never thought I would make it to a situation like this.
So let’s back up a little bit and let me explain how I’ve gotten to this point where I’m super nervous about this event happening. About a year and a half ago, I was talking with some friends one Friday evening when I declared, “You know, I am at peace with knowing that I may be alone for the rest of the life. I use to search for happiness in any man that would show me attention, but now, I have finally found it in myself for once.” That was my proclamation to me and to the world. Miguel Fuller was finally done being desperate. I was finally done jumping into the arms of guys that wanted nothing to do with me other than use my positive energy.
After a few months of truly believing this, and going through a new wave of dating where every first date needed to be the last because this was going to be my future soul mate, I ended up meeting a bunch of cool guys. Truly discovering what I liked and didn’t like, and also just spending a lot of time on my own dating myself. Outside of work, which consumes most of my life, what did I like to do? What sort of life did I want to set up for myself now that I wasn’t depending on a man to come and fix me.
Well a few months later a causal friend of mine that I would see out and about on the weekends ended up asking me out on a date. Sparks flew, I truly felt a connection like I never have before. Within a few weeks we were official. Like Facebook status, Grindr-profile deleting, staying in on a Friday night to watch “This Is Us” official. Shortly after we started down this path I ended up spending the holidays with his family up north in Buffalo, New York. I’m a Georgia-Florida boy so it was a big deal for me to spend a week buried in snow and below zero temperatures. It was a success! I’ve since bonded with my boyfriend’s parents and brothers. I even officiated his older brother’s wedding.
So what’s the next logical step? No. We are not engaged. No. We aren’t moving in together. We are both flying down our parents to the Tampa Bay area so we can host Thanksgiving at my house.
Yep. It’s happening. Plane tickets are in the process of being bought. I’ve started working on a menu and deciding on who I should and should not invite. Do I make the usual Southern Thanksgiving dinner or do I try to make something that represents his Northern family.
THERE IS A LOT TO CONSIDER AND I’M FREAKING OUT!
When you have each other’s parents meet do you just push them into a small room, give them all some wine and hope for the best? Do we drag them around St. Pete going from brewery to brewery together? Do we take a trip on the classy side and have them hang out at the Dali Museum for a night? I have no clue.
My Mom loves to be the life of the party and she loves to gamble. My boyfriend’s parents are college educators who love to sail and read. Here’s what I know, people are people. Both of our sets of parents love us and love us together — I hope. We are very lucky to have both teams rooting for us. Even though I have no idea what we are going to do with them, I have to take a moment and step back to be appreciative of this moment. I’m a gay black man from the South. He’s a white gay man from the North. My black mom from Atlanta, Georgia is going to sit down and break bread with her son’s white parents from the North. With all of the crazy of politics and all the divisions we focus on and fight for, I want to take this moment to be grateful for the diversity that is about to happen at my cobbled together kitchen table in a couple of months.
At some point this week, take a step back from social media and all the crap that you deal with in life and find the little wonders to be appreciative for.
Now here’s to hoping his parents like my collard greens!