Though anyone who is taking the time to read this missive understands that this writer’s cynicism weighs more than two heavy bricks in two large pockets, the fact that the Aug. 30 primary only drew a 20 percent crowd in Orange County – and a similar number in Pinellas County – is a bit of a kick in the teeth. In some ways, I’ll take the blame. I was asked by numerous voters who to vote for, but I didn’t have the time to just throw numbers and precincts in their faces. I also didn’t, perhaps, do my due diligence in making that clear.
In a primary, in a gay paper, we don’t generally parse details. You’re with us, or you’re against us. We aren’t going to vote Republican, generally, so there’s that (sorry about your logs). The pols that have been with us were very clear in their messaging, and we likely profiled them in the past. The ones who are against us? Well, there aren’t enough ticks in a clock for us to deal with them at any reasonable length. So, on one hand, I’m issuing an apology. If any news source should be standing and screaming into the district-depths of individual primaries, it should be us, mine, the one that I edit. On the other hand, these are small towns and there are a lot of voices, many of which are familiar with my contact information, so I didn’t want to sink into the quicksand of political gamesmanship. In fact, because of social media, I did make some personal comments on personal pages, and I may have overstepped and come off as a dick.
But voting is your biggest right, and it’s something I would hope would drive you to research. I did go through the records of the judges, the committee members, the county commissioners and the senatorial-meets-congressional froth to come to my conclusions before early voting. But that was me voting for my interests. When we endorsed Hillary Clinton at Watermark in the spring, it was as obvious as it was cathartic. But when you get into state house races or even congressional battles, things get dicey. Feelings get hurt. Accusations get hurled.
And though there are many races – and their attached results – with which I agree, there are plenty that were dragged through various amounts of mud in order to make them untenable. I’m not happy that we lost some very important progressive voices, or even the notion of new voices coming into the fray. But, as we all know, nobody wins completely on Election Day.
In fact, I can’t remember a primary from which I walked away feeling this numb, which is likely why people don’t vote when there isn’t a superstar for whom to tick the ballot. We’ll get through this, my mind’s eye says. Maybe some real character will arise; maybe some old characters will fade. We’ll do better in November. It would be almost impossible not to.
Crist’s last stand
By now, we’re all aware that celebrity hairstylist Charlie Crist is diving back in the political pool. He’ll be up for a St. Pete congressional seat against Republican David Jolly (who he must have dined with at some time considering his eternal shapeshifting) in November, and up against your face for the next two months.
Politico reports that Steve Schale, a former shill for Crist, is calling this race’s tipping point, at least in terms of the Thin Man’s career.
“Truly, for him, this is win or go home,” Schale told the website..
Crist barked back that he was as strong as a political tree.
“I don’t think there’s a need to speculate about that,” he told Politico. “I don’t think it will be [my last race] because I hope to win Florida and run for re-election.”
All the tan, all the time.
Pay to play
Everybody’s favorite failure Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi is back in the headlines, and this time it’s not for trying to keep you away from health insurance or gay husbands and wives! Naturally, with Donald Trump melting in every limelight he can find, the curse of Bondi has followed. You’ll recall that Bondi solicited Trump’s foundation for campaign donations in 2013. Oh, you don’t? Because they’re pretending they don’t either. Via an Associated Press report from that bygone era, “Florida’s attorney general personally solicited a political contribution from Donald Trump around the same time her office deliberated joining an investigation of alleged fraud at Trump University and its affiliates.”
The lovely Bondi bounded back with some nonsense about how she would “never lie.” But there was, as we all know, a $25,000 donation from Bondi to Trump and there is reporting that says that they colluded on it. Maybe there’s a class at Trump University about this?
Murphy’s law
In everybody’s favorite episode of “Wrestling with the Frat Guy,” senatorial candidates Patrick Murphy and Marco Rubio are sandboxing it out over Rubio’s true intentions in dipping backward after presidential failure. Oh, and it’s getting ugly.
First, according to Twitter and the Tampa Bay Times, Murphy came out swinging.
“I will show up & fight for Floridians for the full 6 years in the U.S. Senate,” Murphy tweeted. “I have signed the pledge & hope Rubio will do the same.”
Oof. Everyone knows that’s not going to happen. Rubio’s camp bit back hard with some Camelot allegations about Murphy’s white privilege and the yacht he rode in it upon.
“His privileged upbringing has left him with a sense of entitlement, which is why he is often too busy spending time on his yacht in Nantucket instead of working in Florida,” a flack told the Tampa Bay Times.
Murphy is now saying he’s happy to debate dullard Rubio for the sake of conversation, basically, but only if he agrees not to run for president again before six years pass. Related: Frat fights are cute.
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