If Looks Could Kill! starts off with a blacked out room and two small beams of light creeping down the aisle toward the stage. They are eloquently placed at the nipples of the voluptuous assailant (played by Jamie-Lyn Markos) as she perpetrates the crime that kicks off this Bond-spoof full of action, romance and any and every sexual innuendo and tired clichÃ© that has been used in all the 007 parodies from Get Smart to Austin Powers.
Mitzi Morris plays Agent 69, super spy extraordinaire, who must thwart the criminal deeds of the villainous crime organization known as V.I.L.E. The show has everything you would expect from a “1960s musical spy adventure”; a bag full of gadgets disguised as everyday items, an array of over-the-top accents from English to Russian to Minnesotan? and an opening number that takes the title of the show and writes it into the lyrics so we never forget what we are watching (someone’s seen all the Bond movies). Â
The entire show is a bit dumbed down and all the puns and jokes are force fed to the audience, but this isn’t completely the fault of Mitzi Morris. She is simply following the blueprints built decades ago for spy comedies to the tee, nothing expanded upon and nothing new, unless you count James Bond in heels as something new. All things considered, if you are looking for something light and full of sex jokes, then If Looks Could Kill! might be right up your alley.
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