12.6.12 Editor’s Desk

12.6.12 Editor’s Desk

The end of the world is here, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the Mayans placed doomsday right smack in the middle of the holiday season.

As the tick tock of the clock that is the Mayan Calendar approaches Dec. 21, doomsday “experts” predict a myriad of ways in which the Earth is going to return to its dusty origins in the galaxy. Rogue planet anyone? Magnetic Pole Hokey Pokey? Marriage Equality?

Even though most of us believe we will be around to see Dec. 22 and beyond, a surprising number of earthlings are prepared to watch the apocalypse just days before the rest of us unwrap Christmas presents. A recent Ipsos poll actually found that 10% of people think some kind of horrible event will unfold on Dec. 21 and they’re talking about things much worse than the awkward moments in the family when the golden child brings his or her same-sex partner to the traditional gatherings of the holidays.

True, polling hasn’t exactly had a banner year (remember how close those ‘virtual tied’ projections for the presidential election?)
It may not be the end of the world, but gathering with the family over the can sometimes feel like impending doom. For members of our community it’s more so, especially when we’re biting our tongues when our own “drunk uncle” drops a homophobic joke or two.

Thankfully for me, a recent visit to my partner’s childhood home over Thanksgiving didn’t present any challenges quite so obvious.
Overall it was a comfortable, enjoyable experience offering a chance to stay connected with other members of the family.

I have met my in-laws before. Over the years I have become an expected addition to any major family gathering, which is incredibly rewarding. A majority of them welcomed me into the family with few questions. Other than the obvious uncomfortable feelings one particular brother-in-law displays when either I or my partner walks into the room, I feel relaxed and welcome.

This year there was a new challenge. My father-in-law has remarried and Thanksgiving marked the first time I was to meet not only his new wife, but her three adult children and their families, all of which live in a conservative area of North Louisiana.

I watched as the new step-siblings were introduced by their biological parents and the way in which their respective spouses were included. Several times I heard phrases like “this is the oldest son and his wife,” or “this is my youngest daughter and her children.” Of course, when the introduction made it around to where I was standing there was a slight pause before I was introduced as my partner’s “good friend.”

That’s one way of putting it.

I have a running joke with one of my partner’s sisters. When their mother was in her last days at the hospital, I was referred to as “a friend of the family” whenever extended family or members of the church arrived to show support. It didn’t bother me. There’s a time and a place to assert yourself and your sexuality. A hospital waiting room is not one of those places unless it directly involves your partner.

But the holidays are a different story. After the initial introduction I made sure to clarify with the new step-siblings that I was more than a friend. I shook hands and said something to the effect of, “I’m his husband” or “we’re partners.”

It’s something I never would have thought about saying just a few years ago. Rocking the proverbial boat wasn’t something I did often nor very well. My relationships with my own family are still strained because of the silliness that surrounded my own coming out, but I wouldn’t change a thing with regards to how I decided on honesty rather than secrecy.

As we take collective sighs in order to prepare ourselves for the stresses of family on the holidays, we here at Watermark thought it would be a great time to look at the mythology surrounding the predicted but incredibly unlikely apocalypse as only the LGBT community can.

And if I’m wrong and the Mayans prove to be right, at least we’ll avoid another kind of pending doom all together.

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