2010 Sex Poll uncovers fantasy, fulfillment, frustration

We’re inundated with polls it seems, and they can be manipulated to prove just about anything. But there’s no agenda for Watermark’s Annual Sex Poll, other than to take a snapshot of our misunderstood and misrepresented sex lives.

Some of the results are predictable albeit still interesting. For example, it’s no surprise that many of us are having a lot of sex, we masturbate frequently, we like to fantasize and we use toys to get off.

There’s also more evidence that the Internet has been a real game-changer in the world of LGBT sex. It's how more than half of us hook up in 2010, and how almost half of us get in the mood (with all that readily available online porn).  

And as usual, it proves that we’re deluded. Just about everyone describes themselves as ‘versatile,’ and a full three quarters of men describe their penis as ‘big’ or ‘very big.’ Only one percent fess up to being small.

But perhaps most interesting is the level of dissatisfaction with sex we uncovered. More than two thirds of us say we’re having sex less than once a week. We asked for explanations, and the answers reveal busy lives, lazy partners, and generalized fear and frustration with all the unknowns associated with hooking up.

So here are the results, culled from hundreds of your responses. Dive in and be informed, surprised, outraged, chagrined, and most definitely entertained. And with a nod to Where’s Waldo, don’t stop reading until you find the cantaloupe, drumstick, hairbrush and aluminum baseball bat.

Here's what you shared when asked to describe the best sex you've ever had:

“It was a new relationship and everything was exciting. I asked her to dress up like a police officer. It’s my favorite fantasy, and she knew exactly what to do. She drew it out and it was incredible. The worst thing is thing is when someone stops right at the peak of your orgasm.”

“A power bottom fucked my cock with his ass. It was a tumbling tumbleweed kind of sex.”

“Two hours on a St. Andrews cross as a leather master introduced me to the world of S&M. The hot wax was my favorite, and the ice rub down was incredible.”

“On our way to bartend at a wedding, my friend and I couldn’t keep our hands off of each other in the car so we took a dirt road, parked the car, spread our clothes out in a field of clover and went at it like two dogs. When we got to the wedding we had a hard time explaining the smell of clover and the grass stains on our clothes.”

“With my boyfriend after a fight.”

“Our love was young and exciting, and we had placed white candles and rose pedals all over the room. She dripped a little candle wax on my erogenous zones, and some melted chocolate on my tits and clit. Wow!”
 
“At Blow Buddies in San Francisco there’s a glory hole with handles above it so I could hold myself off the floor. The combination of physical exertion with a blow job made the experience amazing.”

“Group sex at a gay resort in Fort Lauderdale. I was fucking my guy and there were these other guys rubbing me and making me feel really good as I came.”

“Sex in the pool with a straight married friend. We were skinny dipping, he got hard, and I sucked him off while he sat at the edge of the pool.”

“Having sex with my husband on the way upstairs at our house. The ecstasy mounted with each step as we worked our way up. The joy was in the spontaneity and the complete physical and emotional connection.”

“Sex with a young, hung, uncut Puerto Rican friend, and a young, lanky, hung, uncut black ‘regular’ of mine. (Can you tell I like uncut?) We switched and swapped all night, fell asleep in bed together, and then did it again when we woke up.”

“I met a ‘top’ online, and when he got to my place he mentioned that he’d never bottomed. He wanted to try everything, and it was the hottest anal sex I’ve ever had.”

“I throw a bareback orgy once a month. I usually get six to ten guys, but a while back I had it at a hotel on International Drive and 40 guys showed up. Imagine that many naked guys in small hotel room.”

“In a warm rain on the beach in Provincetown. It was after the clubs closed, and this to-die-for man and I made love until dawn.”
“It was the middle of the night and my boyfriend and I were awakened by wind and thunder. The power went out and we opened the blinds to my bedroom window. We stood naked watching the lightning flashing all around. I brushed up behind him, and the next thing I knew we were thrusting in time with the storm. Anyone at my apartment complex could have watched us like an old black and white movie.”

“It was with a man who will never be my partner. I knew it would be my only chance to have sex with him and it was very emotional.”

Almost two thirds of you disclosed that you like toys from time to time. Dildos, vibrators, butt plugs, nipple clamps, pumps, poppers, cock rings, leather, handcuffs and restraints came up many times. Here are a few more individualized responses:

“I have a cute purple
strap-on that I love.”

“My pocket pussy.”

“A penis if possible, but if not I have a lovely ribbed, vibrating dildo that I got at Fairvilla (in Orlando). It’s a little too big, so it’s only for special occasions... and when I have a firm grasp on my bowels. (Unlike that two-bit skank who had a man-period all over my sheets.)”

“The Fleshlight is great. It has mouth, asshole and pussy attachments.”

“It’s called The Midas Touch. It’s a finger sleeve with a vibrator attached.”

“Anything that hits my g-spot.”

“My BIG.RED.DILDO.”

“Multiple egg vibrators at one time. They constantly shift as you move, so you’re getting a fantastic sensation on the inside while you’re being stroked, licked and sucked on the outside.”

“A masturbation sleeve. My boyfriend likes to use it on me, and it works really well if you pull on the end of it right when you’re getting ready to cum because it creates a suction.”

“My Jeff Stryker dildo.”

“My Hitachi Magic Wand... it’s irresistible.”

From bears to club kids and bulls to lipsticks, it’s a happy circumstance that our tastes vary.

When it comes to body hair, 40% of us like our partners hairy and natural, 52% like to see pubic and other hair groomed, and 8% want their sex partners waxed and/or shaved and smooth. We bet they’re the ones with their cologne bottles lined up in alphabetical order.

More than half (53%) admit to fantasizing during sex; usually exes, muscle guys (and gals), and people you’ve encountered at the gym or elsewhere during the day. But you also have porn stars, punk rockers and professional athletes (both male and female) on the brain.

And then there are the celebrities. The biggest female vote-getters include: Angelina Jolie, Demi Moore, Drew Barrymore, Lucy Lawless (“especially in Xena getup”), Mandy Moore, Melina Kanakaredes, Rachel Maddow, Sara Ramirez, Sarah Palin and Tina Fey.

The biggest male vote-getters include: Anderson Cooper, Ashton Kutcher, Bradley Cooper, Colin Farrell, George Clooney, Hugh Jackman, Jake Gyllenhaal, John Barrowman, Mario Lopez, Matthew McConaughey, McSteamy (Eric Dane on Grey’s Anatomy), Mike Alstott, Paul Rudd, Prince Harry, Russell Crowe, Ryan Reynolds, Taylor Lautner, Vin Deisel and Zac Efron.

Some were timely: “The big blue guy from Avatar with that funky tail connector… that’s gotta rock your world!” Others were, well, very specific: “One of the little Honduran guys who cut my grass,” “One of the bag boys where I buy groceries,” and “This one server where I like to eat lunch.”

A full 40% of you have made a sex tape, and another 18% admitted that you want to, but haven’t yet found the right time or partner. 

Ideally, what size erect penis would your lover have?
Don’t care (as long as it’s hard) 18%
Small, 2-4 inches 0%
Average, 4-6 inches1 6%
Big, 6-8 inches 46%
Very big, 8-12 inches 16%
Huge, more than 12 inches 0%
Thick more important than big 4%

Just out of curiosity, what size is your erect penis?
Small, 2-4 inches 1%
Average, 4-6 inches 26%
Big, 6-8 inches 59%
Very big, 8-12 inches 13%
Huge, more than 12 inches 0%
Thick more than big 2%

What body type are you attracted to?
Thin 8%
Average 22%
Athletic 38%
Very Muscular 5%
Stocky/Voluptuous 26%
Heavy/Plus size 1%
Fat 0%

And as a reminder that sex should never be taken to seriously, here’s what you offered up when asked to share your ‘funniest or most embarrassing sex stories.'

“I used to have phone sex with this one guy several times a week. Finally I went to visit him in person, and he couldn’t get off unless I was talking to him on the phone in another room. What a waste of gas.”

“I brought a handsome guy home, we had great sex, I thought we had a ‘real connection’ and wanted to see him again... until he told me our time together cost $50 (it was a few years back). I didn’t have any cash, so I emptied all my change into a sock for him.”

“After fucking a guy he farted and ended up spraying shit all over my bedroom. It was a fucked up night.”

“One guy farted in my face while I was giving him a blow job. Bleh.”

“I swallowed a guy’s Prince Albert (metal cockhead piercing), but luckily I was able to hack it up... first the ball, then the ring.”

“I was in the back seat of my boyfriend’s car, in his driveway. We’d just had sex and we were still naked and the sun was coming up. His neighbor came out to get the paper, stopped in front of us and just stared. So my boyfriend hopped in the front seat, started the car and backed out. And this neighbor guy gets in his car and follows us. He ran us off the road, and we were still naked.”

“I was 17 and new to the bathhouse scene and didn’t know the etiquette. I had my room door open and I was lying on my stomach and this black guy comes in and just sticks his huge cock in my ass with no lube at all. I yelled, and swore off black men and bottoming. That lasted about a month.”

“On our wedding night, we were doing it and we heard laughing and saw that our wedding party was watching us through a crack in the curtains of our hotel room. We had to use Band Aids to to hold them closed.”

“The ‘broken arrow incident.’”

”I was dating a guy who was really, really small. One night he reached into his nightstand and pulled out a Trojan Magnum condom. I could not stop laughing, and it ruined the mood.”

Based on these answers, it’s clear most of us aren’t getting it is much as we’d like. We asked you to take some time and explain why, and your answers

were insightful. There was a lot of blame placed on partners, busy schedules, and the time and difficulty involved in hooking up. Here are some of your most interesting (and touching) responses:

"I’ve lost interest in my partner, and I don’t like the risks involved with casual sex.”

“Stressed, depressed, medications.”

“It’s not usually worth the hassle of dealing with the crazy people you meet.”

“I would rather use a dildo then be with someone that doesn’t want to be with me.”

“Too many guys are unsafe and that’s a turnoff for me.”

“Lesbian bed death at home.”

“My partner just isn’t into sex as much as I am.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend and I don’t want a meaningless hook-up. It’s hard for me to love, but I think I’m ready to try. When I’m with a guy I want to feel something, not just get off and move on.”

“It’s difficult when you’re a ‘man of a certain age’ who is attracted to younger men.”

“People my age are not looking for people my age. They want younger.”

“I have cancer and my partner became my full time caretaker two years ago, through chemo and radiation and more. It’s hard for her to have sexual feelings when I’m basically her patient. Neither of us like it, but love trumps sex.”

C’mon people! A full third of us have had sex with enough people to fill four football teams or the entire U.N General Assembly.

In my life, I’ve had sex with:
Nobody 0%
1 person 1%
2-10 people 17%
11-50 people 27%
51-100 people 16%
101-200 people 10%
Lost count after 200 29%

Whether you feel trapped by roles or not, somebody’s got to top.

I consider my sexual role to be:
Top (Butch) 16%
Bottom (Femme) 14%
Versatile 52%
I don’t believe in roles 16%

Almost one in ten are pounding it throughout the day. Where?!

How often do you masturbate?
Never 0%
Once or twice a year 4%
A few times a month 22%
Several times a week 40%
Every day 26%
Several times a day 8%

This explains the masturbation numbers. Almost two thirds of us are getting it less than once a week.

How often do you have sex with someone else?
I don’t 11%
Every few months 19%
A few times a month 38%
Several times a week 29%
Just about every day 2%
Several times a day 1%

Have you ever had sex with a family member?
Yes, with a ‘close relative’ 14%
Yes, with a family member not related by blood 4%