“Never put it in writing,” my mom always says. “You can’t put middle class values on a lower class society,” my 12th grade English teacher taught me. My former boss and mentor often advised me not to speak in absolutes. Most recently, my sponsor tells me to “do the next right thing.”
This is all fantastic advice from important people to me, and I try to obey these words of wisdom in daily life. Oh, I fail. Sometimes I fail miserably. However, the idea is progress, not perfection.
Learning to not put things in writing is a hard lesson to learn, but it leaves a memorable impression. How many people have complained about someone via text message and realized after sending the message that you accidentally sent it to the very person you were complaining about? Guilty! It makes for an awkward follow up conversation.
The most useful application of this sage advice is through social media. Sadly, we live in a time of reactionary, and often manufactured, outrage. Recently a story made its way through Facebook about a young gay man found beaten in a parking lot of a Central Florida Walmart. Facebook lit up with rhetoric about conservative hate leading to the beating of this young man; a manufactured outrage with a false narrative. The victim in question was not attacked. Shortly after was the Jussie Smollett case. Then came a headline about the Parliament House being listed for sale, followed by speculation of what would come of the property. In actuality the owner is looking for a leaseback situation and plans to keep Parliament House intact.
Reading a headline, reacting in outrage and sharing that anger without research only weakens the case for situations where reaction is merited. Headlines are meant to spark interest in the story, not tell the whole story. When I come across something that strikes a nerve, I often type out an over the top reaction to get it off my chest, then I delete it. When I can look at it objectively I’ll do some research and form my opinion on that. Still, in the end, it’s just my opinion.
My senior year of high school we were assigned to read “Maggie: A Girl of the Streets.” I remember the class reacting to certain characters with intense hatred and that’s when my teacher told us that we couldn’t put middle class values on a lower class society. Meaning, we were using our life experiences to dictate how others should live. I think of this often when the argument of acceptance comes up. Is it enough for us, as a community, to say as long as someone does no harm it is okay? Do they have to be an advocate for equality or just not hinder equality? At what point is my opinion of how someone should behave in line with what is acceptable behavior?
When trying to answer these questions for myself I am reminded to not speak in absolutes. I try to not use words like “never” and “always,” or describe something as “the most amazing.” When we look at something in absolutes, we eliminate room for error and foster disappointment and resentment. I like to give things room to breathe, to ask questions and look at the facts before trying to do the next right thing.
In this issue of Watermark, we tackle a sensitive subject: racism within the LGBTQ community. It is the first installment in a series of discrimination pieces that focus on how we treat each other in the LGBTQ circle. I am grateful that Watermark has a writer who is willing to take on the sensitive nature of this topic while doing justice to those willing to speak up about their experiences, given the limited amount of space we have.
In Tampa Bay news HRC endorses openly LGBTQ Tampa mayoral candidate Jane Castor, while in Central Florida news Orlando becomes the first city in Florida to include LGBTBEs in their diversity spending. Our Arts & Entertainment sections feature the LGBTQ films presented at the Florida Film Festival and the Florida Studio Theatre’s Streisand-centric show “Buyer & Cellar.”
We strive to bring you a variety of stories, your stories. I hope you enjoy this latest issue.
