The Wonderful World of Wanzie: What I learned from 2018

By : Michael Wanzie
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With the New Year upon us the impulse to write some sort of “Year in Review” column is, of course, pressing upon me, but to do so would only result in me exceeding my allotted word count a fraction of the way through my list of ways in which President tRump has screwed the American people and diminished our standing as a world leader while aiding the interests of enemy nations in 2018.

I want to greet 2019 with hope and optimism. The only way to do that is to hold fast to the promise of Robert Mueller’s investigation — even though I have no doubt that if the report were to say tRump murdered someone, let alone that he conspired with the Russians regarding election interference, every imaginable step and challenge will be enacted in an effort to suppress the findings.

Still, I am looking forward to the end of the investigation and that report being delivered as if it were that great “come and get it” day. But until that day we must persevere. So I’m putting politics aside for the moment and offering up what I learned in 2018.

I learned that:

-Donald tRump lied as New Year’s Eve 2017 approached when he said, of his first year in office, “We are responsible for passing more legislation than any other president. We even broke Truman’s record.” Well the facts indicate tRump’s Republican-controlled Congress actually ranked dead last with regards to the amount of legislation passed in the first year of a new administration.

-Donald tRump lied on Jan. 4 when he said there was “substantial evidence of voter fraud.” There was absolutely none to speak of, less than one percent across the entire nation. His own committee, which he convened to look into this false charge, came to the same conclusion. Then tRump went into overdrive to conceal their findings from the American public.

-Donald tRump lied on Jan. 30 when he claimed: “We enacted the biggest tax cuts and reforms in American history.” No basis in fact, just another random lie.

-Donald tRump lied on Jan. 30 when he said our current immigration lottery “hands out green cards…without any regard for the safety of the American people.” Just another blatant misrepresentation of the facts. Lottery winners are not simply admitted to this country. They are subjected to a rigorous vetting process wherein they must be free from a criminal background and must meet certain education or work requirements.

-Donald tRump lied when on March 22 he said of Japan’s trade practices with the U.S., “They take a bowling ball from 20 feet up in the air and they drop it on the hood of the car. If the hood dents, then the car doesn’t qualify … It’s horrible, the way we’re treated.” Total nonsense.

-Donald tRump lied when on April 2 he said, “Only fools, or worse, are saying that our money losing post office makes money with Amazon. THEY LOSE A FORTUNE, and this will be changed.” Just more tRump craziness. The post office gives Amazon the exact same discounts on bulk business that they extend to any company and the truth is that the post office profits from Amazon to the tune of billions of dollars each year.

-Donald tRump lied on April 22 when he said North Korea had “agreed to denuclearization.” They hadn’t. Our own intelligence, as well as that of other foreign agencies, revealed they are still manufacturing nuclear weapons.

-Donald tRump lied on May 4 when he said of a “catch and release” immigration policy: “This is a Democrat rule.” In fact, it was a policy promoted and adopted during the George W. Bush administration.

-Donald tRump lied on May 29 when he claimed his administration was simply enforcing “a horrible law” already on the books requiring children be separated from parents “once they cross the border into the U.S. There was never any such law on the books and the policy was one of tRump’s own invention resulting in what is arguably the greatest human rights atrocities committed by Americans on American soil since slavery.”

-Donald tRump lied on May 30 when he said, while trying to frighten and confuse Americans regarding immigration problems, “we have thousands of [immigration] judges. There are, in fact, fewer than 400 immigration judges in this country.

-Donald tRump lied on May 31 when, while speaking of opiod-related deaths, he said: “We got $6 billion for opiods and we’re getting rid of that scourge that’s taking over our country, and the numbers are way down.” Unfortunately, the police blotters and medical examiner records clearly indicate that opiod-related deaths have gone way up since tRump took office.

-Donald tRump lied on June 18 when, while insulting the leader of an allied nation, he said “crime in Germany is way up,” when in fact crime in Germany is at a 30-year low.

-Donald tRump lied on July 9 when he said, “I have watched ICE liberate towns from the grasp of MS-13.” No one can find any evidence of this ever happening, nor can the president suggest any such evidence other than to just say it is so. Reminds me of his equally improbable claims of seeing Muslim Americans celebrating in the streets after the 9-11 attacks; a spectacle to which only the president was apparently privy. I can’t find one single other person in America who saw this happen.

-Donald tRump lied on July 16 when he claimed, “The servers of the Pakistani gentleman who worked on the DNC are missing.” Just a complete and total lie. That is all. There are NO servers missing from the DNC and no person other than Donald J.tRump have ever suggested otherwise. He just makes shit up out of thin air!

-Donald tRump lied on July 17 when he said that “the Electoral College is much more advantageous to the Democrats.” Find me one sane person (which leaves out the president) who would agree with that statement. It’s fairly common knowledge that is it precisely the other way round.

-Donald tRump lied on July 23 when he claimed the Steele dossier “was responsible for starting” Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into tRump’s possibly illegal contacts with Russians during his campaign. In fact, the probe was initiated many moths prior to the Steele dossier coming to light and for reasons mostly unrelated to it.

-Donald tRump lied on Aug. 2 when he bellowed, “U.S. Steel just announced they are building six new steel plants.” NO! They made no such announcement and are not building any new plants. Just another fucking lie!

-Donald tRump lied on Sept.6 when he insisted that “3,000 people did not die” in the hurricanes that ravaged Puerto Rico. He went on to falsely state the estimate was “done by the democrats.” At least three different nonpartisan studies concluded the number of dead resulting from the hurricanes in Puerto Rico was at or about 3,000 people.

-Donald tRump lied on Sept. 24 when he said “we’ve lost millions of jobs” under the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA). The problem is the experts tasked with assessing such things say this statement, at the very least, is “a gross over-exaggeration.” I call it just another fucking LIE!

-Donald tRump lied on Oct. 25 when he said, “Many presidents don’t get a chance to put a Supreme Court justice on [the bench].” Since the Civil War, only two presidents have been deprived of that opportunity (Andrew Johnson and Jimmy Carter). Not that it’s really that important; so why in hell does he have to lie about it?

-Donald tRump lied on Nov. 2 when he said, “The Democrat plan would just obliterate Medicare and terminate Medicare Advantage.” A complete distortion of the facts, pure and simple … or one might call it another lie!

-Donald tRump lied on Dec. 11 when he told Chuck Schumer, and thus the Democrats, “One way or the other, if I don’t get my way, we will have a government shutdown … I will be the one to shut it down, and I won’t blame you. I am proud to shut it down for boarder security.” Once the government did shut down tRump claimed he didn’t want a shutdown and blamed the shutdown squarely on the Democrats, thus lying about his lies which seems to be a favorite tactic of this lying liar.

-Donald tRump lied on Dec. 26, while looking directly into the eyes our troops stationed in Iraq, saying, “You just got one of the biggest pay raises you’ve ever received … You haven’t gotten one in more than 10 years … And we got you a big one. I got you a big one … I said make it 10 percent. Make it more than 10 percent because it’s been a long time. It’s been over ten years.”


THE FACTS: U.S. Armed Forces have received a pay raise every single year over the past decade and beyond. The president plays absolutely no role in determining the rate of increase. The upcoming raise tRump touted as being more than 10 percent is actually precisely 2.6 percent. Lies, lies, and more lies!

So here’s what I actually learned in 2018:

The President of the United States of America is a serial liar beyond any extent we ever imagined possible. The President of the United States of America lies daily about things big and small. He lies about things over which he should have no concerns and he lies about things that are crucial to our system of government.

This is not my opinion. These are provable facts by virtue of video of the president telling all the lies I have referenced above and infinitely more. How then, can we possibly believe him when he speaks of what supposedly did and did not transpire during his secret conversations with enemy dictators, where he is the first president ever to conduct such meetings, with absolutely no one present to make a record of the events.

Why should we believe a single word this man has to say about his possible collusion with the Russians to influence the election when he has proved to us beyond argument that he is a lying liar who lies consistently about virtually everything?

I say, if at this point in time, you can still respect this liar and still support the presidency of a man who lies to you on a daily basis then you are a fool with a capital F. If you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community who despite all tRump’s anti-gay and anti-transgender rhetoric and policies are still defending this president than you are an even bigger fool.

To these fools I say — borrowing the immortal words of the great Cher in the movie “Moonstruck” — “SNAP OUT OF IT!”

Happy New Year!

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