Watermark’s 2017 Ultimate LGBTQ Anthem – Final Four

By : Jeremy Williams
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The best things come in fours: The Beatles, the Gospels, the seasons, the number of letters in the best words; and now we have our “March Fabness” Final Four on our way to find out the Ultimate LGBTQ Anthem. The best of the best.

Our last round saw us lose the remaining male-sung anthems leaving our Final Four to be either female solo singers or all-female groups. Sorry George Michael, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis but the only men left in this competition are the ones raining down in The Weather Girls’ anthem, Hallelujah!

This round will carry on through the weekend and closes April 2 at 5:00 P.M. EST. The championship match will kick off Monday, April 3 starting at 10:00 A.M.

Now, lllllllllllllllllllet’s get ready to ruuuubmblllllllllllllle!

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The Weather Girls’ “It’s Raining Men” vs. Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive”

The Weather Girls began this competition against one of our Broadway anthems, “I Am What I Am” from La Cage aux Folles, but these birds were put back in their cages as the girls were singin’ in the rain. Next they came up against Chaka Khan but just like every woman, man and child that challenged The Weather Girls, Chaka’s forecast was gloomy. We feel for you girl. In the last round, it was still raining men as the music meteorologists made it Donna Summer’s last dance.

Gloria Gaynor’s disco ditty has been a battle cry since the beginning of the competition where she demolished every anthem that she came up against. Starting with Katy Perry, who may have kissed a girl but there was no way she was getting to second base. “I Will Survive” then made easy work of the Material Girl’s “Vogue.” This use to be her playground but now she’ll have to express herself somewhere else. Finally, Gloria took a look at Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’ “Same Love” and said all love is the same but all anthems are not equal.

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Sister Sledge’s “We Are Family” vs. Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way”

Sister Sledge proved that it is hard to be defeated when you got all your sisters with you. “We Are Family” started with Sir Elton John and removed his anthem, “The Last Song,” first. Then they told RuPaul to lip sync for your life but the super model didn’t listen and they dragged her out of this competition. Lastly, they heard Whitney Houston singing that she wanted to dance with somebody and Sister Sledge obliged, and they danced her right into the loss column. Get up everybody and sing!

Lady Gaga was born to be in the running for Ultimate Anthem as she started off the competition telling Cyndi Lauper, girl I just want to have fun, and proceeded to beat down “True Colors” time after time. Then Mother Monster heard Diana Ross singing that she was coming out and the poker-faced femme fatale made it so as the supreme being came right out of the running. Finally, Gaga told George Michael that freedom isn’t free and the cost of it is putting your paws up and defending it. Alas, it was not to be and now she is on the edge of glory.

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