Screened Out – Absolutely Fabulous

[three-star-rating]Jennifer Saunders, Joanna Lumley, Kate Moss, Jane Horrocks, Julie Sawalha[/three-star-rating]

Absolutely Fabulous is absolutely average.

With the opportunity to turn out a hilarious movie-worthy plot – and with so many gays rooting for it – creator/writer/producer Saunders has instead turned in a more lush, pricier version of a typical TV episode. There’s more travel, more costumes, and better camera work. That’s about it.

The script even copies many of the series famous lines – “Oh, you bitch troll from hell!” and “One more facelift and she’ll have a beard.” Gags like Patsy drinking Chanel No. 5 also show up.

Absolutely Fabulous has too many guest stars, like in this bit with Rebel Wilson.
Absolutely Fabulous has too many guest stars, like in this bit with Rebel Wilson.

Back when it was original, Ab Fab – as we fans call it – was a brilliantly irreverent and libertine Brit-com. It started out in 1990 as a famous French & Sunders skit. Back then, Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders – very funny women – would each write and act out bits in a comedy show. Saunders rich, gauche, drug-and-alcohol-fueled fashionistas were a huge hit. At the request of BBC, she created the famous series – with Lumley replacing French as a new character. Almost instantly, horrible mommy Edina and bullying Patsy entered the gay zeitgeist. They ruled in the U.K., the U.S., and all over the world.

TV’s Absolutely Fabulous ran from 1993 to 1995. After the 1996 “finale” and a five-year hiatus, many television specials followed, even up to 2012. Each time, the plots were hedonistic and absurd, and lots of pop culture guests – musicians, artists, fashion designers, and actors – all signed on for cameos.

And there was lots of pointless glamor: “Beautiful things, gooorgeous things, darling!” as Eddy would say.

I hate to ask if Kate Moss is still relevant...maybe that's the point.
I hate to ask if Kate Moss is still relevant…maybe that’s the point.

In this movie offering, Patsy is at a fashion magazine, and Edina is still struggling with her PR firm. When Patsy finds supermodel Kate Moss needs PR representation, she and Edina try to shoehorn in. Only, they knock Moss into the Thames, and then travel Europe to escape their very public shame.

The movie knows it has huge plot holes. It doesn’t care. Absolutely Fabulous has always been absurd. Patsy gives herself Botox every morning; Edina has a walk-in cooler in her kitchen for all the bubbly they constantly consume.

Part of the charm of Ab Fab is that these two are horrible, wasteful, selfish people, but they’re also very loyal to each other. This is still very evident, and – except for the tasteless gags – is the best part of this film.

What doesn’t work is all the repeating. One-time show guests parade around in bit roles. Even lovely side characters, like their ditzy assistant Bubble (Horrock) get short changed.

The bigger problem is that the scattershot plot is so wan. In between the gross or silly slapstick, the film seriously sags until the next funny bit. This movie needs Botox,

[rating-key]

One wishes Saunders had taken the opportunity to write a cohesive but tasteless plot, one that would’ve both shocked and surprised us with its supreme wit as well as its absolute lack of morals.

Fans will still love the moments of silliness – disgust in the highly glossed worlds of pop culture and fashion. However, I wish the script had the same polish that the clothes, locations, and music have.

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