Uprisings: Wise up

By : Billy Manes
Comments: 0

If you’re anywhere near the interweb tubes, shaking your head with gifs and emojis, stamping your imaginary feet at how things could have possibly gone the way that they indeed have, then apologies on the front end for the unicorns and rainbows presently being dismissed by your mainstream media (or men seeking men, acronym fans). It’s been a hot week of political rhetoric, which effectively means it’s been a hot-air balloon filled with erroneous phraseology and a tantrum or two thrown in for good measure. The battle between Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders for the diamond-studded figurehead of the presidency has gone ballistic, and we’re all paying for it in progressive circles.

At issue: the bewitching math of superdelegates and those who love or hate them. Sure, nobody likes a finger on a scale, but that’s not what this is (there is a history behind said system, one that is available to read at your local library or, of course, online). Superdelegates are the politically connected folk who make up the whipped creamy top of the Democratic Party structure, and there’s a reason for that. Whether you agree with that reason – to make sure that smart decisions are made, proponents argue; to satisfy the bloodthirst of the party elite, opponents grumble – doesn’t matter right now.

Representative democracies run deep, and revolutions – like the ones that both Ron Paul and Bernie Sanders have argued for – don’t come easily. Yes, campaign-finance reform should be a key issue in the wake of Citizens United; no, this so-called “oligarchy” or “anointment” of a second Clinton shouldn’t be argued in the face of a multimillion voter lead in the primaries thus far.

“Those superdelegates in states where either Secretary Clinton or myself has won a landslide victory — those superdelegates ought to seriously reflect on whether they should cast their superdelegate vote in line with the wishes of the people of their states,” Sanders said in a recent speech.

Down with the superdelegates! They’re like shoppers waiting for the better deal? Not really. That put-on political purity hasn’t stopped Sanders’ team from raising the idea of courting those superdelegates against their pledged-delegate brethren. Over the weekend, Sanders himself confirmed that he would likely ride along in the broken bus that his advisors have taped together, one that would sway an insurmountable number of superdelegates to His New Democracy.

“When we talk about a rigged system, it’s also important to understand how the Democratic Convention works,” Sanders said May 2 at a press conference. “We have won, at this point, 45 percent of pledged delegates, but we have only earned 7 percent of superdelegates.”Clinton has won more than 3 million more popular votes, mind, but never mind the bullocks.

Sanders’ campaign, meanwhile, in fits of hating superdelegates in general, has been arguing about convincing said superdelegates to Red Rover their way on over to his side so that he can win the primary at the June Democratic convention. So, wait. There should be no superdelegates, but we’re about to court those superdelegates anyway. You can’t have it both ways.

Sanders knew full well – he’s no newbie after three decades in public office, the vast majority of them not in the Democratic Party – that he would come up against electoral challenges (wait til he meets the college; oh, don’t wait), but now he’s stomping his feet and trying to destroy the party. It’s working, too! Except it isn’t.

There are many anecdotal threads to traverse here – some involving the 2008 Obama-Clinton race and her concession at the convention – but, seriously, this is a study in how delusions destroy good intentions. This is just sad. It needs to stop.

UpRising_JerryBrownBrown Note
One bald guy to another, Democratic California Gov. Jerry Brown handed Republican Gov. Rick Scott the smackdown of the (climate-change) century last week when he drafted a note about Florida’s Scott-induced failures.

“If you’re truly serious about Florida’s economic wellbeing, it’s time to stop the silly political stunts and start doing something about climate change – two words you won’t even let state officials say. The threat is real and so too will be the devastating impacts,” Brown wrote Scott on May 2, just as Scott was on an adventure to wrestle California businesses into Florida’s implicit, drowning failure. Scott’s a poacher by nature, not ‘cuz he hates ya.

Brown banged the drum about the fact – yes, fact – that Florida stands to lose much of its expensive and expansive coastline should the state not take action. There are reports, Brown wrote. You should read them, he implied.

UpRising_DavidJollyJolly good time
Things got heavy within the Republican Party structure last month when a 60 Minutes report, one that included some clandestine videography, showed that the National Republican Congressional Committee was enforcing fundraising quotas for candidates seeking office. Things only got uglier when Jolly confirmed that he was being forced to raise $18,000 daily should he want to be taken seriously. The NRCC did not take it lightly.

“Simply put, this meeting never happened,” Simms writes. “It is a work of fiction. Had the reporter or producer of the story bothered to verify this claim, they would have been told as much.”
Except, what more proof do you need than video? Was the video doctored? Were there pimps and hookers? Nope. It’s real.

“In response to the NRCC’s broadside to the credibility of Rep. David Jolly, and in response to the Executive Director’s bold assertion that a meeting with party leadership directing Rep. Jolly to raise $18,000 per day did not occur, we can confirm the date was April 3, 2014, the time was 5:30 p.m., the location was the NRCC’s Political Conference Room on the Second Floor,” Jolly’s communications director, Preston Rudie, said in a statement to POLITICO.

Jolly, it should be noted, is railing against campaign finance requirements, as well he should. He’s also willing to name names should it come down to that. We’ll keep you posted.

UpRising_CarlyFiorinaICarly
What to do about presidential bleep of noise called Ted Cruz? Last week, the gay-hating, gun-toting, party-proclaimed “Lucifer” jumped his own self-righteous, bigoted gun and announced that he would ask failed Republican presidential hopeful – and Hewlett-Packard devil who wears Prada (and sings for no reason!) – Carly Fiorina to the electoral prom. Of course she agreed. Why wouldn’t she? WHAT ELSE IS SHE GOING TO DO?

“I’m impressed with her,” other failure Jeb Bush told CNN. “Picking a candidate that is talented, tough – she takes on Trump really well, I think, and she takes on Hillary Clinton very well, as well. (She’s) someone who’s got a proven record, who’s been vetted by a candidate, I thought it was a smart move.”

So was Sarah Palin; pew, pew. At any rate, Fiorina is most noted in the last week for falling off the stage at a Cruz event. Cruz didn’t help her; the internet noticed. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Laugh-In.

Share this story: