Saying goodbye to ‘Grandma Ruth’

Largo – The first time Steven Pearson met ‘Grandma Ruth’ Dallmann, it was her 80th birthday and she rode into the Pro Shop Pub in Clearwater on top of a Harley. The last time he saw her—two weeks before she passed away peacefully on Sept. 13—the bartender at the long-surviving LGBT bar served Dallmann her favorite drink: a vodka cranberry.

“She was one of those people that if you were a new person in the bar, she knew you before you left,” recalled Pearson, a manager at Pro Shop. “She was so unique.”
Dallman, who was 97, will be buried alongside her husband, Robert Dallmann, and is survived by her two sons, Michael R. (Linda) Dallmann and Patrick J. (Ann) Dallmann, numerous grand children, great-grandchildren and friends throughout Tampa Bay.

According to her family, Dallmann didn’t become acquainted with the LGBT community until her late 70s, when she began battling macular degeneration, which forced her to lose much of her eyesight. In 1992, Dallmann was riding a bus to get to her exercise program when she met a young gay man, Paul Wells. Wells introduced Dallmann to his friends in the LGBT community and soon “Grandma Ruth” was born.

Dallmann would spend time at the Pro Shop Pub, often with a roll of $1 bills and scotch tape at the ready. Pearson recalls her making neck ties out of the money and taping them to newcomers’ chest before introducing her new friend to everyone in the bar.

“Honestly, she was a great man-magnet,” Pearson laughed. “She really was.”

Dallmann became a staple at St. Pete Pride each summer and only missed two of the event’s 12 years—once when she traveled to visit the Vietnam Memorial and another time due to illness. She eventually became a regular on Pro Shop Pub’s Pride float, riding in the air-conditioned cab and waving over a sign attached to the door that proudly stated her name and her age.

“She loved St. Pete Pride and the gay community, but she always wanted to be on the float,” said Pearson, who said Dallmann typically rode in the cab due to the overwhelming June heat and concerns over her health. “This year she got to ride on the actual float because the parade was held at night. It was like fate that it was a night parade this year. She had a wonderful time.”

Dallmann told Pearson that she felt like a queen at the St. Pete Pride Parade because everyone would yell her name. And while he will miss his friend, he’s confident that Dallmann was prepared to reunite with her husband.

“No one was ever more at peace with death,” Pearson recalled. “She was ready to be with her husband. She said when she gets buried she wants to be face down on top of him.”

Services for Dallman will be held on Saturday, Sept. 20, at Sylvan Abbey in Clearwater. Visitation is from 10-11 a.m.

Pearson said that many of those celebrating her life plan to bring afghans the widow crocheted because she wanted “a colorful” funeral. Many of those afghans are rainbow colored.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to Prince of Peace Lutheran Church in Largo, Florida.

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