St. Petersburg – For the second year, St. Pete Pride asked the community to select the grand marshals for the annual celebration. And with nearly double the participation of the previous year, the community spoke loud and clear.
St. Petersburg City Council member Darden Rice, AIDS Service Association of Pinellas resource development manager and PFLAG Tampa will all be at the front of this year’s night parade. They learned of their grand marshal titles during a St. Pete Pride kick-off reception in May sponsored by Rainbow411.com at Bert Smith BMW.
There, each were given a trophy and a grand marshal medal to wear during Pride events and during the parade.
All of those recognized were surprised, but grateful, for the recognition.
A PFLAG Family
“It’s incredible,” says Nancy Desmond of PFLAG Tampa. PFLAG, of course, stands for Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. “The LGBT community itself chose to embrace their pride by selecting a serious group like PFLAG Tampa that could not be more about love and acceptance. The largest LGBT Pride parade in the southeast is being led by the largest ally group in the nation!”
Nancy Desmond and her husband, John, rebooted the Tampa chapter of PFLAG four years ago when their 28-year-old son came out to them. They were surprised to learn not only that their son was gay, but that he was in a long-term relationship with his partner for years.
“In retrospect, there were many signs [he was gay],” recalls Nancy Desmond, who has been married to her husband for 39 years. “But we were not tuned in to the particular challenges of a closeted youth, so the idea that he was gay was a fleeting thought at best.”
When their son shared plans of a career change, the Desmonds were hopeful that their son would move to Florida to be closer to his parents. However, they learned he had roots elsewhere.
“Through choking tears, JP informed us that he couldn’t [relocate] because he was gay and had been with his partner for eight years!” John Desmond says. “And to top it off, he was a deacon in his church and had committed to helping with a soup kitchen and teaching a religious class.”
The pair were shocked—in a good way—to learn that their son was in a relationship and involved in a church. But they admit they did have to adjust to the idea of having a gay child. Parents too, they say, have to come out when they learn a child is gay.
“Like almost all parents of LGBT children for whom the entire concept is new, our first thoughts went to his safety,” Nancy Desmond says.
The Desmonds have since seen the impact the national organization of PFLAG has on lives on a very personal level.
“Often, PFLAG is the first door families come through when they discover that a child or loved one is LGBT,” says John Desmond. “They feel scared, embarrassed, confused, guilty, etc. Sitting in a PFLAG meeting, listening to other successful, happy LGBT people, could not be more powerful. But the benefit that no one really expects is what it is like to be a part of a community that knows what it means to consciously accept and love everyone. ”
And the experience of acceptance is literally life-changing, John Desmond adds.
“The people you will meet through your LGBT child will teach you a whole different way to look at the world, and your own life will be enhanced,” he says. “We see so many families who flourish once they enter this world. People come to PFLAG expecting to find coping skills and leave with unexpected joy. Many cannot wait to march with their families in St. Pete Pride, knowing that this loving community is now their community.”
Darden Rice
In November 2013, Darden Rice achieved her dream. She won a seat on the St. Petersburg City Council. Of course, public service wasn’t a new concept to her. Rice, who has been with her partner Julie for four years, works on behalf of public interest groups as a communications consultant when she’s not behind the dais within City Hall’s council chambers.
Like her role as an elected official, Rice takes the title of St. Pete Pride grand marshal seriously.
“It means people trust me to literally and figuratively carry the banner proudly for equality—and I do,” she says. “[Pride] is way more than just a party. I hope people take away that we achieve important gains when we are engaged with our communities, when we vote, when we are visible. That our community is filled with many, many people- gay and straight alike- who support and defend equality.”
This will be the first time Rice has served as a grand marshal, but it’s not her first time to participate in St. Pete Pride. In 2013, for example, she marched as a city council candidate along with Julie. She also had a special guest in the parade at her side—her 15-year-old nephew, Gabe.
“He had just come out to the family and this was a chance to show him a supportive, welcoming community,” she says. “It was a big deal to him and that made Pride more special for me.”
Rice’s first experience with an LGBT Pride festival was in 1995, when she saw New York City’s Pride. The changes in the world from then to now, she says, are unbelievable.
“Who would have dreamed the way the world would change so much over the next few years,” she says, referring to the ongoing passage of marriage equality laws in the United States and around the world. “Last year’s St. Pete Pride coincided with the Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage, so national TV stations used clips from local stations covering Pride as part of the ‘gay issues’ package story. We had friends from California call to say they say Julie and me on national TV as we marched holding hands in the St. Pete Pride Parade”
When Rice isn’t working, which is a rare occurrence, she can typically be found enjoying outdoor activities that many Floridians take for granted.
“A perfect day for me is to get out on the water, whether it is boating, kayaking, or paddle boarding,” she says.
Jay Aller
As Resource Development Manager with the AIDS Service Association of Pinellas, Jay Aller is responsible for donations, fundraising events and community outreach in Tampa Bay. Many may recognize him from his larger events, like Dining Out for Life in April, AIDS Walk Tampa Bay in September and the Santa Speedo Run in December
It’s that outreach and resulting visibility that fueled Aller’s selection as a grand marshal in 2014.
“I was very surprised to learn I was selected,” Aller says. “I remember working with [St. Pete Pride executive director] Eric Skains last year when ASAP was nominated as one of the community groups. That was such an honor, I never imagined people would think to get me nominated for the position this year.”
Aller, who is single, may not have ever served as a grand marshal before, but he knows what it involved with being one. Each year he’s involved in the selection process for grand marshals for the AIDS Walk Tampa Bay.
“I understand what the committees look at and who they consider,” he says. “It’s a real honor that another organization would choose me to fill this role.”
And since Aller works so closely with the HIV population, he’s hoping his role as grand marshal will help deliver the message of awareness.
“I’m excited to get to chat with so many new people and be an ambassador for Pride,” he says. “I’m excited to chat with them about upcoming events and issues facing our community as well as awareness of HIV testing and education.”
ASAP serves clients on both sides of Tampa Bay through medical services and a food pantry.
Aller’s first time at an LGBT Pride celebration was near his hometown of Harrisburg, Penn., in 2000. There, he attended a festival at Riverfront Park.
“I don’t remember too much about it, but It was an important step for me to go to a Pride Festival in my home town,” he says. “I was shocked to find out they had one, in fact Harrisburg has been holding a pride event since 1980 starting with an event called ‘Open Air.'”
That may have been what inspired Aller to get involved with St. Pete Pride originally. He was at the first planning meeting of St. Pete Pride back in 2002.
