Slowly but surely, the drumbeat of zero tolerance for bullying against children in general and LGBTQ kids in particular is getting louder. It is being heard more widely across the country, but in Sarasota and Manatee counties it is still, at best, muffled to the point of being almost inaudible.
The loudest and clearest message yet that the bullying of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender kids as well as those who are questioning and just aren't sure yet, came last month in New Jersey. There prosecutors prevailed in a case against a college student who spied on his freshman roommate as he had a romantic encounter with another man and encouraged others to do the same. Not only did a jury find the defendant guilty of invasion or privacy, but it also found him guilty of bias intimidation. That is, the jury believed that the young man being spied upon thought he was being targeted because of his sexual orientation. The jurors resoundingly rejected his defense that he was just a kid not fully aware of what he was doing.
Three days after the young man was spied upon and discovered his roommate tried to make him the butt of jokes, he took his own life.
According to news reports, the father of the young man who jumped off a bridge to his death delivered a message to middle and high school students: â┚¬Å”You're going to meet a lot of people in your lifetime. Some of these people you may not like. Just because you don't like them doesn't mean you have to work against them. When you see somebody doing something wrong, tell them: â┚¬ËœThat's not right. Stop it.' The change you see in the world begins with you.â┚¬ÂÂ
The drumbeat of zero tolerance for bullying is also getting louder because of a documentary film that will be released this month, Bully. In it, the filmmakers follow a seventh-grade boy, Alex, and shoot scenes of him being both physically and verbally abused on the school bus.
The film's director, Lee Hirsch, said he was initially quite surprised that the bullying would take place in front of a camera. He then said, â┚¬Å”That particular world, that world of Alex's school, was a world where kids had become quite used to being able to bully Alex. I think the sense of consequence was quite low.â┚¬ÂÂ
In another scene in the movie, the assistant principal of a school brings together a boy, Cole, who was being bullied, and the classmate who bullied him. After she dismisses the boy accused of bullying, she says to the child who was bullied that he is no better than the perpetrator because he didn't accept the other's apology.
Cole, the target of the bullying, replied, â┚¬Å”Except I don't hurt people,â┚¬Â and the assistant principal replied, â┚¬Å”By not shaking his hand, you're just like him.â┚¬Â Once again, the target of the bullying replies, â┚¬Å”Like someone who pushes you into a wall, threatens to break your arm? Threatens to stab you and kill you? Shoot you with a gun?â┚¬ÂÂ
In response to this scene, the documentary's director said, â┚¬Å”â┚¬Â¦what we hear over and over again from teachers and administrators is they don't have sufficient training and tools to handle many of these situations.â┚¬ÂÂ
Which brings us back to Sarasota and Manatee counties. Last January, ALSO Out Youth, a Sarasota-based not-for-profit that includes anti-bullying against LGBTQ children as one of its primary missions, offered to bring a former All-American wrestler who is now the wrestling coach at Columbia University, Hudson Taylor, and his wife to the area to speak to local athletes and students about the importance of respecting all individuals involved in sports.
ALSO believes that Taylor's message and the work of his organization, â┚¬Å”Athlete Allyâ┚¬Â is especially important because of the leadership role high school athletes frequently play in their schools. ALSO's offer was made to principals, guidance counselors, selected teachers, athletic directors and some district officials.
Two months after the offer was made, some progress was made at Booker High School, but the response of every other individual ALSO has contacted has been the same: a resounding silence. Letters and emails have gone unanswered and phone calls have gone unreturned.
At the same time, a growing percentage of the young people who come to the after-school center that ALSO operates in Sarasota report that they have been the victims of bullying.
The message is clear: Sarasota needs to do more much more to guarantee that all local youth, LGBTQ as well as straight, go to school in a safe environment that allows them to flourish as individuals and teaches all students to be open-minded, accepting and tolerant. We don't want the drumbeat of anti-bullying to be muffled here any longer.
