It has been an amazing year for the LGBT community here in Orange County. Plenty of good news to celebrate and valuable lessons learned along the way. The good news is that we are on the cusp of a truly great achievement here in Orlando and Orange County. City and county commissioners are expected to vote soon to implement a joint Domestic Partner Registry, which will be the first of its kind in Central Florida and a model for other communities to follow.
That historic achievement will come on the heels of the recent passage by Orange County of an LGBT-inclusive human rights ordinance, and domestic partner benefits for the County’s gay employees. (Orlando already had these provisions.) At least one of the important lessons to be learned is that it might never have happened if members of our community and members of those elected commissions had not bothered to talk, and listen, to one another.
In this day and age of hyper partisan politics it is easy to fall into the trap of making assumptions about people based solely on their political affiliation. Often these assumptions are correctâ┚¬â€Âbut not always. And when they are not correct, we can make very unfortunate mistakes and miss out on very significant opportunities, especially on a local level where elected officials are more independent from partisan party positions, and more personally approachable. So after some â┚¬Å”assumption misfiresâ┚¬Â on my part, I have decided that maybe the better policy is to try talking first, before making assumptions.
I made a huge assumption misfire during last year’s campaign for Orange County Mayor. The technically nonpartisan mayoral race featured a Democrat versus a Republican. Of course, the conventional wisdom is that Republican politicians are anti-gay and Democratic politicians are pro-gay. There are very valid historical reasons that support this conventional wisdom. In this case, the Democratic candidate had openly courted the local gay community, while the Republican candidate, Teresa Jacobs, was widely reputed to be anti-gay.
Knowing very little about Jacobs, and in line with the conventional wisdom, I subscribed to this view. Then Commissioner Linda Stewart invited me to a meeting with other leaders in the community to discuss how to advance the human rights ordinance that had been blocked by then-Mayor Rich Crotty. We were shocked when Jacobs arrived (at Stewart's invitation) and joined the meeting, listened to us, and offered her advice on how we should proceed. Afterwards, I called Jacobs several times and asked for her help in advancing the HRO, which she agreed to do, and did do, without seeking public acknowledgment or anything in return.
In the process, I had several conversations with her about LGBT issues. She did not say everything I wanted to hear, but it was clear she was no homophobe. She expressed personal compassion for our community and a political willingness to address our concerns if elected. Jacobs turned out to be very instrumental in helping us get the HRO passed before she took office, and then worked with us to implement domestic partner benefits for gay employees as one of her first priorities in office.
And now, we are on the verge of getting a countywide domestic partner registry. My assumption about Jacobs was wrong. I’m glad I talked to Jacobs (with an assist from Linda Stewart), and that she talked to me.
I made another big assumption misfire during the HRO battle. We were desperate to get the HRO passed last year because our two biggest supporters on the County Commission, Democrats Linda Stewart and Bill Segal, were leaving office, likely to be replaced by Republicans Jennifer Thompson and Ted Edwards. Knowing nothing about the views of these two on gay rights issues, I again followed the conventional wisdom and assumed they would not be gay-friendly.
As a constituent in Thompson's district, I sent an email to the campaign websites of all four candidates asking for their positions on certain gay rights issuesâ┚¬â€ÂThompson's did not answer, feeding my assumption. Then I ran into her campaign manager (and now aide) at a luncheon, and told her that I didn't think I could support her candidate because she didn't support gay rights.
Thompson's campaign manager, who happened to be gay, was shocked by my assessment, and encouraged me to talk to Thompson about her views. Skeptically, I did email Thompson and asked her to contact Mayor Crotty to encourage support of the HRO. To my surprise, she did. After she was elected, we met and talked for an hour at a Starbucks, and she vowed to support the proposed domestic partner benefits. When the County Commission voted, she not only voted “yea,” she spoke very eloquently in support of our community and challenged her colleagues to proceed with a domestic partner registry. She has become our strongest ally on the Board. My assumption was wrong! I’m glad I talked to Thompson, and that she talked to me.
I have had similarly positive experiences after talking with other local Republican leaders, like County Commissioners Ted Edwards and Scott Boyd, and City Commissioner Tony Ortiz, and County Comptroller Martha Haynie, all of whom have become LGBT allies. I’m glad I talked to Ted and Scott and Tony and Marty.
On the flip side, I am happy to say that the conventional wisdom has been entirely correct about our local Democratic leaders, all of whom have been consistently rock solid in their support of LGBT rights. (Independents tooâ┚¬â€Âthank you Commissioner Damiani!) Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer, in particular, has demonstrated amazing leadership in advancing LGBT rights, even exceeding expectations. (I should have talked to him sooner!) So, my point is, you never really know where someone stands until you ask, and listen. Don't make an assumption misfireâ┚¬â€Âtry talking first!
