â┚¬Å”No sex without monogamy!â┚¬Â Ã¢â”šÂ¬Ã¢â‚¬Å“ Patti Stanger
The Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger's been coming under attack after a recent appearance on Andy Cohen's Watch What Happens Live on Bravo. The website UnicornBooty.com ranted that Stanger â┚¬Å”destroyed all goodwill with the LGBT community by characterizing gays as sex-crazed animals incapable of monogamy.â┚¬ÂÂ
What they failed to mention and show in the below clip is that Stanger referenced her gay male clients and more specifically those in California. While I don't know why, she even tried to defend herself.
So, what's the problem? I totally agree with her. I've been saying that for years in my column. Yes, we may say we want monogamy but the problem is that I think most gay men â┚¬â€œ once they have it â┚¬â€œ don't know what to do with it and end up screwing it up. I've encountered this many MANY times among my slew of protospouses.
I've yet to come across true monogamy in my dating and social experiences. I mean, I don't know one gay man that isn't constantly kvetching about wanting to find a relationship but all the while is cruising Adam4Adam or Grindr?! Or I hear, â┚¬Å”we're monogamous in our hearts.â┚¬Â Meanwhile, they're having sex with other people. Can you say â┚¬Ëœbullshit?'
The other night, I was talking to my friend along with a fellow he had recently started going out with about this exact thing. Even with a date present, my friend was scanning Grindr. What the hell?!
Digging into my own repertoire, I had a relationship end because of his inability to understand what monogamy stands for. I like to call it Gay.D.D.; the gay man's version of A.D.D., where there's a clear incapacity to focus on one person for too long out of fear that there's always something better.
That's not to say there's not a handful of gay men who are truly monogamous but why get mad at Stanger for verbalizing it? Is it because she's a straight woman? Or is it because we don't want to have a mirror put in front of us?
Erik Fact: If you spend your time thinking there’s something, someone better around the corner; you could find that you’ve wasted your time waiting and miss out on what’s right in front of you.
