Tabatha Coffey refuses to let people define her. The out and proud lesbian and hair powerhouse, best known for changing lives and businesses on her BRAVO show Tabatha's Salon Takeover, is now taking on the publishing world.
Part memoir, part business manual and part instruction guide to achieving self-acceptance and love, her book It's Not Really About the Hair teaches you how to recognize your own inner strengths and how to get in touch with your own inner bitch. Unfazed by criticisms, Coffey has reclaimed the word â┚¬Å”bitch,â┚¬Â transforming it to the person she is: â┚¬Å”Brave, Intelligent, Tenacious, Creative and Honest.â┚¬ÂÂ
She also explores her struggle with protecting her privacy and honoring her responsibility as an openly gay celebrity and her responsibility to the LGBT community. Coffey, who participated in an early PSA for the NoH8 campaign says she's not one to wave a flag in a parade but will be the first to stand up for equality.
Before heading out on an industrious travel schedule, the savvy 41-year-old Australia native shares her candid commentary about trannies, long-term relationships, standing up for what you believe in and why she hates Justin Beiber.
When Tabatha isn't filming television shows and promoting products, she can be found cutting hair at her own salon, Industrie Hair Gurus, in Ridegewood, NJ.
Watermark: You're known for being very guarded and private. So, what prompted you to write a book that is so revealing?
Tabatha Coffey: I really have such a wonderful fan base and I don’t take that lightly. I was inspired by the emotional emails I get from fans. I get a lot of non-hair related questions like, “How did you get started in business?” “How did you know you had a passion for hair dressing?” “How did you come out?” “How did you do this?” “How did you do that?” So, I wrote the book. I didn’t want it to be self-indulgent. I don’t think I’m that interesting but I wanted to share stories that were relevant to me that I hope will translate well to other people. I hope it will help explain a little bit more about who I am and give the reader a takeaway like, “It’s ok that I look a little different” or “It’s ok if I come out.”
You were recently in Tampa to judge the Miss USofA Pageant. How did you get involved with that?
My parents ran strip clubs while I was growing up. So, I was surrounded by drag queens. That was the norm for me. I actually got my start doing drag queens’ hair.
Not much is known about your personal life but from what I read, you’ve been with your partner for 12 years. You purposefully keep her and her identity out of the public eye. Has that caused any strain on your relationship?
Not at all. It’s actually her choice to stay out of the public eye. I’ve chosen to be in the public eye. I’m very supportive of her and she’s very supportive of me. She is just quiet and shy and I respect that. There’s not a strain as long as there’s honesty. She gets that the focus is about me publicly. That's where the strain comes in. The media wants scrutinize couples and “body language” and all that shit. It’s not fair. The truth is, I get to travel and do what I love and she makes me feel safe and happy when I’m home.
What advice can you offer in regards to sustaining a healthy relationship?
I think it’s compromise. I think it’s work. It’s something that you both constantly have to work at. You both have to ultimately decide that this is what you want and are going to work at it. Don’t look at that as a bad thing. You have to realize there’s someone else involved and you have to be mindful of that. It’s definitely give and take.
When one or both of you don’t think about the other person or think the journey through enough, things happen and then someone’s hurt. Relationships are definitely worth it but you both have to decide if you want it.
Would you consider marriage?
I think the choice comes down to if it's right for you, if it's the right circumstance, and to do it for the right reasons, because marriage shouldn't be taken lightly whether it's gay marriage or straight marriage.
In your book, you talk a lot about taking ownership of your strengths and weaknesses. What advice can you offer to people like yourself that have felt condemned for their honesty?
You have to be brave. Brave enough to speak the truth. Brave enough to stand up for yourself. I think there’s a big difference between being mean and just being a bitch. If you’re being honest with yourself or being honest with someone else about what you’re feeling; that's not bitchy and you shouldn’t be criticized for it. If you’ve got the balls to be honest then you’re strong enough to stand up for it.
Were there any instances on the show that had to be cut or salons where you took over that didn’t allow you to finish taping?
A lot of things are cut down, obviously, since we film for a really long time. We break it down to the essentials. We never cut anything out because we’re thinking ‘no one should see this’ and we’ve never been told to “get out and never come back.”
With that, how do you not take it personally when a salon owner or stylist goes off on you or talks bad about you behind the scenes?
I don’t see the final footage. And I don’t want to. That’s my choice to not see the footage. I don’t take it personally; it’s business. I know not to take it personally because I’m there to come in, kick their asses if they need it and put a mirror up to their faces. It’s not always pretty what they see so sometimes you get resistance. I understand that. The thing that keeps me going is that there is always someone there that gets it. There’s always at least one person that gets it; they can see what I’m trying to do. In some cases, the salon owners don’t get it but I know that the staff has gotten it and that’s good enough for me.
There seem to be a lot of celebrities that don’t like to see themselves onscreen. Why is that?
I’ve learned that if I know too much, it clouds my judgment and I don’t want that. I don’t want to have anything but the facts before I go in. If I know too much, then I’ve already formed an opinion in my mind and that’s not a good thing. I like to just go in and figure out what the situation is and figure out what the problems are first-hand. If I were to watch the surveillance footage, I might make assumptions as to what the situation is or who the people are. I’d go in with an air of “well, that’s ridiculous.”
You’ve already worked with many celebrities over the course of your career. Are there any that you haven’t that you would just love to get your hands on?
There aren’t any celebrities who I think have hideous hair but there are those whose hair could definitely be better. Sandra’s Bullock’s bangs at The Golden Globes; horrible. [Laughs] There’s no way around it. Normally, I love her but those bangs just looked awful.
In a previous interview, you mentioned wanting to style Paris Hilton.
She looks better now. [I said that] when she was going through a stage where her hair was just kind of tragic. She had regrowth all the time.
You, yourself have a very distinctive, chic style. Do you have a stylist or is it all you?
It’s all me. They’re all my clothes. I’m very low maintenance. Although, sometimes I think it’d be very nice to have someone set-up my wardrobe for the week.
What do you think the next “it” look is?
For women, hair will go short; not as short as mine; more like Michelle Williams. A lot of celebrities are cutting their hair shorter. It’s much more textured, more mondo shag or a longer pixie cut. For men, I don’t mind long hair on guys but I like it to have a rugged texture to it. I can’t stand that Justin Beiber look. A lot of guys are trying to pull it off. Unless your under the age of 16, it’s not ok. When I see like a 30 year old trying to imitate his hair, I just don’t get it. It doesn’t mentally equate with me. It’s not a good look. No one should do it.
If you weren’t a hair dresser, what would you want to do?
I truly have no idea. I’ve been doing it for so long that I can’t imagine doing anything else. There’s nothing that pops into my head that says “I really want to do that.” This has been such a great career for me. I’m very lucky that it's led me in very different directions. I’ve been able to travel, have my own television show and now my book. It’s a craft I truly love.
S + H:
Who: Tabatha Coffey
What: Tabatha's Salon Takeover
Where: Bravo
When: Mondays at 10pm ET
