It seems just like yesterday that we were singing carols, lighting up the tree and celebrating a brand new year. Now, we’re looking Valentine’s Day square in the face.
Where did the time go?
I’ve never been a big fan of Valentine’s Day. I’m fortunate enough to have a loving partner and it’s hard for me to imagine going through my day without knowing he’s there by my side. But we’ve never really made a big deal out of the annual so-called Hallmark holiday.
I remember the Valentine’s Day that I actually had to purchase a gift for my first girlfriend. The term “girlfriend” should tell you how long ago that was. I was in seventh grade and remember walking around the store of Grandpa Pigeon’s, which was a K-Mart/Wal-Mart hybrid that was quite popular in the Midwest before it closed in the late 1990s. The seasonal aisle was decked out with pink and white crepe paper and similarly colored boxes and bears lined both sides. Since I wasn’t even old enough to drive, my dad was with me and he helped me pick out just the right bear for my Valentine.
I recall choosing a white bear based more on price than aesthetics; the whole idea of giving a girl a gift felt like a chore rather than a celebration.
A few days later, when I gave my girlfriend her gift, I remember her giving me a kiss—not one of those big wet ones—but a peck on the lips. I also remember that I only got a card. That was the only Valentine’s Day we spent together and we broke up soon after that. I knew she wasn’t right for me.
Of course, like many gay men, I knew I was gay long before I came out at 21. I dated a few girls after my first girlfriend but never really had that deep connection expressed in so many of those red and white cards by those geniuses writing the greetings.
In high school I had a “long-term” girlfriend for nearly two years. That meant two Valentine’s Days and two years of stress. I can joke with her now about those awkward moments we spent alone and her constant praise for my willingness to remain a virgin until marriage. No lie—I actually had an underwear rule. We could do whatever, as long as our underwear stayed put. I don’t know if I was afraid I would fall in or what.
No wonder she wasn’t shocked when I came out of the closet a few years later.
As we enter into February, Watermark presents its annual Love issue. This is always one of my favorite issues because it gives us a chance to shine a light on the positive feelings we have for our partners, husbands, wives—or whatever title we choose to give them. All relationships are founded in some form of love, and relationships in the LGBT community are no different.
I have many friends who are constantly asking me to find them a date. They say they are out of luck when it comes to finding love and know that there is no one out there for them. I’m not a psychic, so I don’t know if someone is, indeed, out there for them. But in my experience, finding love is something that just happens. It’s not a wild animal you can hunt like a deer.
Love also comes in many forms. In this issue we talk about how love begins. Louanne Walters introduces us to two couples who met and fell in love online and Kirk Hartlage shares some interesting (and funny) stories about non-traditional ways to find love.
We even have a really inspiring selection of first-person stories of how some of our readers met.
Like so many things in life, love comes in different forms and in many varieties. It’s not an exact science and it’s certainly not something a politician or religious figure can tell you to feel or not to feel.
It’s a strong emotion embedded in us from birth that is waiting to reach out to the right person. I hope all of our readers get a chance to experience true love and if you already do, share those feelings this Valentine’s Day.
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